Think about this - if you were
teaching a toddler to sit down and draw for the first time would you hand him a
canvas and oil paints and expect him to reproduce the Mona Lisa by the end of
next week? Of course not.
If you were teaching a friend how
to drive a stick shift would you expect them to practice once and be able to
hold their own in an official race a day later?
Again, of course not.
Why then, even though we know how
to set realistic expectations for others - do we not offer ourselves the very
same courtesy? The fact of the matter is
that it’s not even so much of a ‘courtesy’ as it actually is a wicked trap that
you are setting up for this individual (yourself) that is going to end up
stalling their progress for weeks, months, or possibly years.
So - imagine if you will a
‘client’, a co-worker or a friend came to you asking for direction on how to
reach a goal and you set up an unrealistic plan for them to stick to. The moment they can’t stick to the plan they
get upset and frustrated and give up for a few weeks...
...Finally a day comes where they
get re-motivated by something they saw, read or thought about and they come
back to you and say,
“I’m ready to try again, set me
up with another plan.”
...So, once again, you set them
up with a strict, completely unrealistic plan that - in real life will never
actually allow them to reach the goal.
So of course, they fail again, are discouraged again, are angry and
frustrated again....
First - do you think this person
would continue to come back to you asking them to set them up with a plan to
reach this goal?
Second - does it sound like you
actually want this person to succeed? In
fact - does it sound like you even like this person as you continue to
set them up to fail?
Treat yourself as you would a
friend, a colleague or a client. Treat
yourself the way you would treat another person coming to you for help or
advice - someone that you really believe in and want to see succeed!
...From now on - stop being the villain
and be a friend to you!
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